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Reply to "How would you want this invite situation to be handled?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How well do you know the mom?

If she is a friend, or someone who has mentioned the previous laser tag incident, then I think calling her would be kind.  I might phrase it more like "Johnny would really love to celebrate with Michael.  If there's anything we could do to make it easier for Mikey, please let us know.  If he's not up for it, maybe we can do ice cream and a movie later in the week so they can still celebrate."  That way, if there's a strategy that might help (mom or dad staying, sending an older boy as a coach, getting there early so he settles in slowly), she can suggest it.

If this is a mom you don't know, then I think that pointing out that you know that the last time went badly will make her feel like people are gossiping about her kid.  If she RSVP's no, then I'd follow up with "Johnny was disappointed that Mike couldn't make it.  Can we plan another outing for the two of them later in the week?" [/quote]

This is wonderful advice, but I would personally do it over the phone or in person and make sure you remind her that she brought it up to you in the past. I am going to have the same conversation with a friend of mine soon because her child (not HFA but who has another type of special need) is a good friend of our child's and may not be totally comfortable with the type of venue where we will have his party. Before anyone jumps on me to suggest we change the venue we did consider that but that would create issues for some of the other kids. There's no perfect solution.
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