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[quote=Anonymous]I am trying to process a strange long weekend with my family and would appreciate some DCUM "you're not crazy" or "you're crazy" feedback.

First, my mother turned 65 this week. My bothers and I (I'm a daughter) decided that we would rent a country house near where she lives in upstate NY and bring all of the grandchildren and put on a long weekend celebration. Now, my brothers and I don't always get along. Sometimes they turn into drunken idiots during family events and I fall into the buzz kill sister.

And I have an issue with one of my sister in law's (a personality clash that we usually grit out teeth through when she see each other), but my other sister in law (let's call her Layla) is just a fantastic person. I mean, among the my brothers, husband, and other sister in law, she is probably the kindest, most gracious, and just all around easy going person in our family when we are in a big group. She has never been the cause of a fight over the past ten years she's been around. She's just an easy going woman.

My mom has been divorced from my dad for 10 years and has been dating a guy for about 8 months and she wanted to bring him to meet everyone for the first time. We were all happy and excited because she seemed happy.

The weekend was basically perfect. Everyone got along, the kids had a blast, no one fought or drank too much. The food at the party we threw was fantastic. My mother's boyfriend was awkward, didn't speak much, and did throw out some rude comments to my brothers (sort of peeing on a tree kind of thing). He was sort of stand offish and did strange things like swim laps in the pool (bumping into the kids) while we were all playing and chatting with our kids.

The last night we had put the younger children to bed and we were all heating up leftovers and chatting in the kitchen. I'm standing next to Layla who decides to talk to my mother's boyfriend. My mother mentioned he was a teacher in NYC before retiring. My brother (Layla's husband) is a teacher, so she turns to the boyfriend and asks what grade did he teach and whether he liked working with children.

My son asked me a question, so I turned away from the conversation, but when I turned around, I could see Layla getting upset. So, I walked over and heard the boyfriend say "well...you know black women just pop babies out to get welfare" and "we should have sterilized them before they pop out more criminals..." She just keeps trying to shut him up but he keeps getting more and more nasty and bigoted.

Layla is black.

She finally turns to my mother in law, gives her a peck, says she can't be around this anymore and walks out in tears. Her husband follows. He talks to Layla and basically walks in and tells her what the boyfriend did, says he's a bigot, is furious and says they are going to sleep since their children are sleeping and will be leaving first thing in the morning. He joins Layla upstairs.

My mother tells the boyfriend that Layla thought he was a bigot. And the man loses it, starts cussing, storming around, my other brother and his wife and I tell mom to get rid of him, he's screaming, calling her an elitist, liberal who thinks she's smarter than anyone because she's a doctor (Layla is a infertility doctor but rarely discusses her work). He's yelling and threatening my other brother who's watching him walk out with my mother that if he so much as lays a hand on him, he's getting his piece because he has a conceal and carry gun in his car (which after the fact we learned was sitting in an unlocked box in a his convertible with the top down, which we are livid about). He eventually speeds off.

He gets home and begins sending nasty texts to my mother about Layla. It's vile stuff. My mother blocked him, tells us it's over with the guy. We all went to bed, she went to her condo in the morning with my brothers, she packed up his stuff and left it for him at the police station. My mother is sad and shocked and feels like it came out of left field. The kids and in-laws are horrified.

I don't know what I am asking or what to do next. We all went our separate ways and are back in our normal lives, but I feel terrible. I don't know what to do next. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent, I think. It was an awful end of the best long weekend I've ever had with my family. I'm angry about that.[/quote]

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