Reply to Morning After a Big Fight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks everyone.  We ended up having a good day yesterday, best in a while.  We ran some errands and had lunch.  But most important we talked a lot.

He shared all of his stressors and I shared mine.  We both apologized.

One bad fight every 10 years is not so bad.  In some ways it really cleared the air.  [/quote]

I second the recommendation not to go to bed angry. Every time we've done that, we both wake up with a fight hangover and it is awful. I will say that fights that come from little things for us are almost always predictive of bigger issues brewing. Like, we can start in a dumb argument over a parking ticket that didn't get paid, and the reason it's a big deal is not the extra charges but some other major stressor. When I feel a fight escalating, I try to take a step back and ask what's really going on here. What are we really upset about? What the real issue?

Once we manage to talk about that, it's usually easier to move on, and like you said, the clearing of the air is helpful too.[/quote]

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