Reply to Third family in my circle of special needs had others call cops on their children

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[quote=Anonymous]Another special ed teacher here, also the parent of a child with a mental illness.

Unfortunately, I know many people who have had cops called on them.  I've seen good outcomes, where the presence of the cops either shook the child up enough to change their behavior, or was the thing that convinced social services agencies or insurance companies to take the issue seriously and provide appropriate services.  But I've also seen it go badly.  And of course, I've read about cases where the arrival of the cops has lead to tragedy.

I don't have great solutions for you, but I can tell you 4 strategies that I have seen used, or been involved in using with some degree of success.

1) As the adult, practice the script you'll use with the cops, and think about putting something in writing too.  This is particularly true if you have a kid who is going to struggle to follow directions from the cops.  Our kids are at the greatest risk at the moment when the cops give them the direction, and they don't follow it.  Now, many kids with unpredictable behavior and aggression have a healthy fear of the cops and will organize their behavior in the presence of one.  But if your kid is likely to respond that way and may be unable to follow directions, because of severe receptive language issues, or because of psychosis, or for another reasons, you're going to want to be able to explain the situation quickly.  "He has autism.  He does not understand your words."  No guarantee that it will work, but it's worth thinking about.

2) If you think that you may find yourself in a situation where you need to call the police on your own child, because of the severity of their unsafe behavior, then it may be helpful to set up an appointment to have the police visit and talk through a plan.  Many jurisdictions are happy to do this, and they can give you suggestions in advance.  It also increases the likelihood that the person who comes will be one who has a little information and who approaches the situation appropriately.

3) For adolescents who are able to plan and talk through future situations, writing up a contract or a social story about what to do to prevent the police being called, and what to do if the police are called can be really helpful.  If your child's behavior is unsafe to the degree where you may need to call the police, it can be helpful to put that in a contract too.

4) For all adolescents, writing and implementing a behavior plan that teaches and hugely reinforces a specific "stop" behavior.  Examples might be sitting down and putting your hands in your lap.  Or going to your room (if home) or the car (if out in public).  When I taught the most aggressive kids in the school district, we had a space marked out with painter's tape on the classroom floor and the stop behavior was getting your body in that space and staying in that space.  It needs to be a behavior that is incompatible with physical aggression, assuming that other people keep their distance.

We would identify this behavior and practice like crazy.  We'd play the "silly stop game" where I'd ask kids at random intervals to stop, and then meet them in the location with something highly reinforcing, like a piece of candy or a token for our token economy or a "good job" phone call to their mom.  We'd also reinforce the "stop behavior" by stopping our behavior when they used it.  So, no matter how mad I was, or how much I wanted to tell the kid off for biting, or to continue a demand, if a kid moved to the "stop" spot, or showed me the "stop" behavior, then I turned off my mouth, and backed off and gave them space.

For most of my kids, who could handle delayed reinforcement, once the behavior was very well established, we moved to a system where they got some kind of reward (either tangible, activity or a token to collect towards a longer reward) if they "stopped" every time I asked all day.  So, if the kid had 3 episodes in a day where I thought they might be unsafe, but moved to the spot every time, then they got it.  If the kid didn't have an episode all day, then they got it.  If the kid practiced 2 times but didn't have any real behaviors, they got it.

Plus, I'd take whatever was the biggest consequence we used in that setting, and tell the kid that the only things that will make me do X are hurting people, or not "stopping" when I ask you too.  [/quote]

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