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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you handle/cope/find answers on the right thing to do?  I feel like I just can't win.  [b]Worst of all, I feel like I am recreating a situation that I have lived through myself, and I need to change things, but I don't know how. [/b] I have no point of reference. My heart is broken.

I ordered "love languages for kids" today.  I really need help with this.  I don't understand my child's personality (age 12), and I don't think that my child will ever see me as trying to do right by them. At first, I thought it was ODD, or that it was the worst of my spouse's personality coming to light (spouse can be extremely depressed, stubborn and difficult) - but I keep looking for answers without coming to anything that is truly helpful. FWIW, DC connects with spouse fine, but it divides our household.

Other DC are really hurt by most of the things that (DC I am mentioning) does, and how they act toward them - it is always "go away!" "leave me alone!" and (most of all) "you are so annoying!".  These responses come after little or no communication (spouse's family has a history of over reaction and spinning, which is tough to be around if you are from a more laid back, and less tightly wound, and less generally agitated or "wronged" family).  I feel like DC looks for slights, even when they are not there, and then I look like I am favoring the other DC if I react (in any way, negatively, positively, or not at all).  DC rejects everyone except for spouse and maybe one good friend.  I fear that DC will have a tough time of this. Also, I can do nothing right.  What do I do? [/quote]

This is what psychotherapy is made for. Read the recommend books, AND find a therapist who has an exploratory approach.[/quote]

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