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[quote=Anonymous]http://www.wholeliving.com/134135/love-experiment-one-question-changes-everything

So getting to the point where you can have this conversation takes awhile, and it doesn't always work (for me -- and I know now there will be people announcing that OF COURSE IT ALWAYS WORKS and IT SHOULDN'T WORK YOU DOORMAT BE A PARENT GROW A SPINE. Thanks in advance to both groups! Totally helpful!)

But I think the book you ordered and Yes, Your Teenager Is Crazy can both be helpful. I think things go off the rails when people don't feel heard, and while in some cases the only thing that makes people feel heard is getting their way, sometimes they will accept choices.

I have had to get MUCH better at shutting up when I say I will. "X needs to happen. Is it better for me to remind you or for me to tell you once, including telling you the consequences for it not happening?"

Also, I hear you on the offense-seeking. No advice other than being consistent. And you have my sympathy.[/quote]

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