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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why didn't you call so ds could talk to them?  If it's important to you that they participate in ds's birthday, you need to facilitate that.  Don't set up an unspoken expectation, then pout when they don't meet it.  [/quote]

[quote=Anonymous]+1 My mom does this. It drives me crazy. You can make the call. It won't be any less special for the kid.[/quote]

+2  I have relatives that expect everyone to live by a social code that exists mostly in the 50s and their head and gets all passive-aggressive when someone is "rude".  Be direct and facilitate the interactions that you need/want to have.  My husband's family doesn't make a big thing of birthdays and will bring cards/gifts on their annual visit that is months after the actual date, and my mother no longer celebrates holidays due to a religious conversion.  We don't make a big deal about either, and neither do the kids.  They take their cue from your reaction.  Don't set the expectation that they should feel slighted.[/quote]

+3.  Did you or your DH remind them about the birthday and/or party ahead of time?  Did you try to call/Facetime them and they weren't there?  My parents would never think to call, especially if we were having a party that (wouldn't want to "bother" us during such a hectic day). [/quote]

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