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[quote=Anonymous]Oh goodness, OP. This is at tough one. I have anxiety similar to your sister's though maybe not quite as bad. And as an adult I went through something like your niece did. Unfortunately these mean girl trouble-maker types exist at all ages. Anyway, I should've been able to handle it better as a woman, but I felt so vulnerable and alone and rejected because of my anxiety that I just couldn't and it led to depression. She's basically feeling like everyone is talking about her daughter and her and everyone believes all the crazy stuff that other mom is saying and that she will now be ostracized by the community. It's not true, but it feels real.

Somehow, she needs to be able to gain perspective that this is one small crazy person and no one wants to get involved in that crazy person's drama. That sensible people will judge her and her daughter based on what they actually say and do, not on crazy rumors and accusations. That the people who take any of the crap seriously are probably not worth her time. Help her to be more discerning and not constantly seeking approval/acceptance. I guarantee that's part of her issues.

She also needs to know that she isn't despised and detested and hated. Though I don't think you were wrong, what you did may have felt like you rejecting her along with everyone else. If there are other ways to show that you love her without indulging her obsession, please try them. Try not to be angry with her. It's very hard for a person like her (and me!) to have perspective until more time passes. In the meantime do what you can to create new memories and take her out of one context, so that she sees there's a lot more to her life. [/quote]

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