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[quote=Anonymous]"due to how much hurt I carried from my childhood and adolescence, I have held back. My mother would love to go for lunches or be able to drop by my place or talk about things that matter but I don't really want that. We are cordial and see each other often but I don't ever confide in her and I find time alone with her to be awkward. Sometimes I feel guilty that I haven't worked harder to create the relationship she wants but I feel like I don't trust her enough to do that. She feels my mistrust is unfair as she feels I had a pretty good life and that she always did the best she could and had good intentions."

I totally get this OP.  I had a somewhat similar but not as dramatic life.  I also hold my mom at arm's length.  I don't see what there is to gain by trying to build some sort of friendship.  I just mentally can't open myself up to her and if that makes her upset or sad, she needs to find a way to deal with her own emotions about it.  Families don't all have to be close and if mom is looking for a buddy, there are tons of other people in the world to be friends with.  [/quote]

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