Reply to Does vacation intensify preexisting issues, or should it make things better?

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Reply to "Does vacation intensify preexisting issues, or should it make things better?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your dh sounds incompetent and childish. [b]I assume he manages to be an adult at work[/b], why can't he do that at home too? [/quote]

Yes and no. He can be pretty difficult to work with but he's one of the most successful people they have (commission based work), so his attitude hasn't really come back to bite him. He does have a reputation of being a complainer but ultimately he gets results so they have kind of a hands off mentality with him. He is very competent when it comes to work so they put up with it. The issue with that is that it reinforces that his behavior is ok and ultimately he usually gets what he wants so there's no motivation to change the behavior.

I did have a talk a few months ago with him about this and said that I can't continue to live like this and ultimately it's unfair to DS. I gave him a chance to make changes and I recommended he get into counseling to explore why he felt the need to put others down to make himself feel better. He promised to improve and did for a tiny bit of time but now it's back to normal. When we get home I will sit down with him and explain that his behavior is negatively affecting our family so he can either take concrete steps to make changes or we need to at least temporarily separate.

This makes me nervous because he can be very vindictive, especially about money, when he wants to be. There are joint accounts but I don't have easy access to them so it is quite possible he would move joint money into other accounts. How do I get my ducks in a row before tipping him off?
-OP

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