Reply to Does vacation intensify preexisting issues, or should it make things better?

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I are on a beach vacation this week with our 5 year old child.  We have issues with bickering, but it seems so amplified this week. He is acting like a baby and pouting when he doesn't get everything to be his way, and he is just looking for things to blame on me.

Case in point--we had plans to go to an activity today which started at a specific time. We misjudged how much traffic there would be and got there super early. We were waiting to meet friends and we were 2 minutes away from my favorite store, which we don't have locally where we live. DH had mentioned that he thought we should eat before the activity but we had eaten breakfast 90 minutes prior and DS and I weren't hungry. I asked DH to drop me at the store. He got silent like he does when he's mad at me for something but dropped me at the store. He waited for me in the parking lot. There were multiple choices for food all around the store where he dropped me off. 20 minutes later I got in the car and DH was fuming mad but giving me the silent treatment. We got to the activity and he started complaining that he was hungry and I got to do what I wanted to do so I should be happy, but it was at the expense of him being able to eat. I told him he was free to get something to eat at any point. He didn't have to sit in the car the whole time. And he could have brought a snack with him if he thought he might get hungry when the rest of us weren't ready for a meal yet.

Anyway, for the rest of the day he's been pissy and making it seem like the whole day was about me. This was literally the only thing I've done for solely me this entire week. DH has had multiple times away from us to do things he wanted to do, so it's not like I got to do what I wanted to do and he didn't get any opportunities to do the same. He has had a lot of kid free time, and hasn't once offered for me to have any time to do something on my own. So I saw the opportunity and took it and now I'm paying for those 20 minutes where he was apparently wasting away from starvation.

I'd like to think this is just from being out of our routine, but we frequently have similar issues at home. Not specifically this example, but the dynamic is the same. I'm so sick of it and I'm miserable, and most importantly I don't want DS to be impacted by this dynamic between us. DH has no patience for DS either. We've had busy days and the kid is tired, but DH expects him to behave impeccably at a nice restaurant at the end of a long day. DH doesn't want to consider staying in because he likes to eat at nice restaurants on vacation.

If I don't have a perfect plan for the day then DH makes snarky comments at me and blames me for any glitches that occur. I had planned a day yesterday and had mapped out a fun restaurant to try which was on the water and would have been great for DS as it had a playground. It was right on our way back to our beach house. We got there and it was closed at that time which was different than the website hours. DH was so rude to me about it like I had planned it to happen that way.

I know this is kind of all over the place and it's more like venting, but does vacation exacerbate issues that are already there for you? After this week I don't have a desire to do this again, but I know DS loves the place we go so I'll suck it up for him. It just makes me sad that what is supposed to be fun is really not fun at all due to all of this. It's like DH can't be content unless he's putting me down. [/quote]

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