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Reply to "Your BIL ( sister's husband) says something offensive towards you how do handle it?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to grow that spine, OP, and stand up for yourself. Your parents don't. I guess your husband doesn't, either. So your family consists of a lot of wimps and enablers, your bully BIL, and your probably NPD queen-bee sister. Can't change them. You can set boundaries for what you'll accept, and set a good example for your kids. You can learn to calmly shut him down when he makes inapppropriate comments to you. And then you walk away and enjoy the family gathering at a distance from him. And don't engage your sister about this, or your parents or whoever else is part of the toxic dynamic. They're not changing.[/quote] Yep. I had a similar dynamic, and I set some hard boundaries. I didn't announce them to anyone, but I set them and it helped me. This was with a dear friend and her asshole husband, and also with other members of my family. For me, with the friend, it was: not going to any event at their house not inviting them as a couple to any event I hosted seeing friend one-on-one on neutral territory only For family, it was: Kid birthday parties Every OTHER holiday Answering no more than one phone call per week [/quote]
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