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[quote=Anonymous]DCUM, please try to find it in your hearts to not rip me apart. I'm aware of how pathetic I sound and this is completely out of character for me. I am normally a very independent woman and I've always been able to take care of, entertain and love myself. My boyfriend of 1.5 years and I started off long distance for the first six months, then moved to the same state and lived separately, then moved in together.  We have now been living together for about 6 months.

I'm beginning to realize that I have severe separation anxiety. This started when we moved in together in February. We both work and going to work is not an issue for me, but once we're off work, I must be attached at the hip with him or I get incredibly emotional. Just the THOUGHT of him having to go on a business trip or even go somewhere for a couple of hours without me puts a lump in my throat. When he wants to hang out with friends, I beg him to make plans when I'm at work or busy so I don't have to be at home without him. The other day he wanted to go visit a friend for a couple of hours and I had a full-blown crying panic attack. It's pathetic and I know it, but I can't help it. I don't know what to do.

Other than work, I hate going places alone and want him by my side everywhere I go. We have a big friend group but there are days when I don't want to leave the house or see anyone else besides him, and I know this makes him sad as he loves being around friends. We are very emotionally close and have talked a lot about this. He has been incredibly patient and never gets frustrated with me. He understands the anxiety and sadness that being away from him puts me through and while he loves me to death and wants to marry me, I can't help but feel like there's no way any normal person could handle me for much longer. I am normally a bubbly, high energy girl but lately all I want is to be around my BF and that's it. I don't get excited for family vacations, going out with friends, etc.

I have been going through a lot of physical, emotional and mental changes for the past year, and he has always been the constant. I think that's a big part of the reason why I'm so attached to him. He is my comfort zone. I know I need help and he does too. Unfortunately therapy is 100% not financially an option for me. Please, if you have any tips or advice on what I can do to make this easier on both of us, let me hear them. And again, please go easy on me. I understand this is not healthy and needs to change, but I'm in an incredibly frail emotional state and cannot handle much backlash. I am simply looking for advice. [/quote]

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