Reply to Big fight with DH about 19 months old DS's parenting method

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Reply to "Big fight with DH about 19 months old DS's parenting method"

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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds to me like the big problem is that you are rach trying to get the other to do it your way instead of trying to find a middle ground.  I agree that taking a parenting class together is a good place to start.  Timeouts are not really effective for a kid that young (and they have a lot of pitfalls even for older kids), but DH is right to want more structure in general and limits.  Snuggling and talking about why the behavior is bad are actively rewarding the behavior, so frankly you both sound kind of clueless, which is fine.  You are both new to this.

What actually works at this age is to have a good structure in general--set mealtimes, naptimes, bedtimes and active playtimes each day.  Then on top of that structure you build house rules that are age appropriate.  It's not reasonable to expect a one-year-old (or even a 2- or 3-year-old) to consistently obey an order the first time.  But if you have consistent and predictable and reasonable rules then he will learn over time what is and isn't okay.  That said, they don't learn that X isn't okay because mommy gave him a big hug and talked for 5 minutes about "no climbing the bookshelf."  They learn through action.  Instead of talking, pick him up and move him to the slide and say "climb here."  No more.  Keep it short.

Running around and ignoring the teacher during class is pretty typical for a high-energy kid.  Maybe try a few different classes to find one that is more engaging.  [/quote]

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