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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the worst things about my parents divorce when I was an adult was that I then became responsible for both of them, financially, health, emotionally etc. I am an only child and it was awful. Yes my Dad got to live his life in peace but at my expense and I am resentful. Although I do get it. It's exhausting. I wonder who your dad thinks is going to manage your mom, but she will be in much more devastated emotional state. I'm just not sure I could do that to my own kids.[/quote]

This. 
I'm sorry OP. Honestly, your dad is being selfish. He made the choice to stay in the marriage, supposedly for you and your siblings. I guess he thinks he gets to just walk away. Who does he think is going to take care of your mom after his departure sends her into a tailspin...Oh wait: You and your siblings. [/quote]

Maybe you could hook old mom up with a support system first - like move her into a nice retirement village first. Nothing says that you have to put up with mom's bulls&$t all the time. Maybe she'd meet someone that would make her happy there. In any case you do not have to allow someone to suck the life out of you. 'Attempted' suicides seem like a big manipulation.

Also you could encourage dad to just relocate without divorcing. Or for him to 'go on some long trips', see if that is less devastating for her.
I know couples where the man 'lives in the UK' supposedly for 'health insurance' or one spouse lives two states away but visits sometimes. One friend actually remains married to her DH but has lived separately for 10+ years so he can stay on her health plan - he is mentally ill and he would have been destitute had she cut him off. It's not like you have to remarry at 60+ - your dad could still have a life without divorcing your mom.[/quote]

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