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[quote=Anonymous]So my SIL just got engaged and we are thrilled!  I absolutely love her fiance and she and I are very close.  I am married to her older brother and have been in her life since she was a teen.  They had a rough upbringing and I have played a big role in her life as a female figure and confidant and I know she really looks to me in many ways.

After her engagement I got a text from one of her friends who lives out of town saying she would like to coordinate with me to have an engagement party for them.  I reached out to my SIL and said I'd be happy to do whatever I can and help out.  I asked my SIL if she would like me to have it at my home and she immediately said she would and was very excited.  I am happy to do this for her and it feels like a good fit as my husband and my house is where we hold all family events on his side and his divorced parents both live in small apartments.

Now the friend is texting me her plans for the party in terms of the decorations she is buying, the food and drinks she wants to serve, and even suggested she would ask my father in law to bring a keg of beer for everyone.

I am taken aback as when I offered to have the party I meant, I would have the party.  Her friend is acting as if my house is a venue for her to dictate and I am not okay with that.  If she wants to bring an appetizer great but she is not throwing a party at my home.  Also if I am going to coordinate with anyone it is my inlaws and my brother in law to be's family.  I am very family oriented and find this friend to be overstepping her bounds.  All of this said I just want my SIL to be happy and enjoy her celebration but I can't stop being who I am.

If friend wants to call the shots I think they need another venue and friend needs to foot the bill in that case.

Please set me straight on how to handle all this.  My goal is to not allow wedding stuff (which I personally believe is overrated) to effect my wonderful relationship with my SIL while still maintaining my own standards.[/quote]

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