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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oof I don't think you're going about this in the right way at ALL. They're teenagers, not dogs...trying to control what they eat and constantly implement forced diets / fight about it is absolutely going to backfire. Likely already has.

Aside from the aforementioned, let's try and get to the root of it. Why do you think they're overeating / regularly turning to food for comfort? What is you / your husband's health like? What kind of behavior have you modeled around food and physical activity? What is the stress / happiness level like in the house? [/quote]

Exactly this!!!

They didn't get this way overnight.  What role did you play in getting them overweight?  14 year olds dont get to be 200 lbs on their own.  And you certainly won't get her to lose weight by harping on her.  All you will accomplish will be to give her a really shitty self-image.

My mother harped on me about weight all the time.  I was maybe 10 lbs overweight my whole teen life.  I was constantly starving myself.  When I finally became an adult and suffered from depression I said F it and just ate and ate and ate.  I gained 80 lbs.  Is that what you want for your daughter and son?

Get a clue lady.[/quote]

YUP to all of this. Honestly OP I would immediately seek outside help, a qualified counselor, for dealing with this issue. I think you've already done substantial damage, and if you want your daughter to have any hope of building a healthy relationship with food you need to get her (and yourself, ideally) professional help from someone who actually knows how to deal with this stuff (hint: it's not just about food). You're seriously doing everything wrong in this scenario

I had a friend growing up with a mom like this. We were on vacation with her family in high school and she seriously had to hide a bag of skittles we'd gotten for the road trip down in MY bag, because her mom would check hers. Her mom was constantly making snide little remarks and disapproving comments about her weight. Such disturbing behavior. What do you think happened when she got to college? If you guessed she spiraled, gained 50 lbs, developed a drinking problem and eventually a problem with bulimia, and made generally terrible choices with regards to guys / sex....ding ding ding! Her self esteem was so messed up, she was seeking outside validation from anywhere. She finally saw a counselor and after a LONG time and some harrrd internal work is doing pretty well. But she absolutely still resents her mother, and holds her at arm's length. The teenage years are hard and confusing enough without your own mother bullying you. Some of those little comments will be burned into her psyche forever [/quote]

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