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[quote=Anonymous]DD, 12, has always been a social butterfly. She's a good kid --a little scattered but kind (although lately taking on more of a teen edge), a good student, outgoing and extroverted. Etc.

For the last year or so, she's had a friend "Larla." Larla just seems like a different relationship than she's ever had with other kids, and my DD behaves differently with/around her. And I cannot put my finger on what's bothering me about the relationship, but it just seems like everything with Larla is the start of an ordeal. I'll admit it: I don't particularly like Larla, which I trace to the fact that she got caught encouraging my DD to be dishonest with me early on (basically, we don't allow teens to drive our children and Larla told DD to lie to us and say her mother was going to drive us when in fact it was an older sister). It also seems like there's a lot of "give an inch, take a mile" with Larla. So, it starts with "can I go to the shopping center after school" which becomes "can I go to Larla's house" which becomes "can I eat dinner here" which becomes "can I sleep over." A certain amount of that "free flow" I'm OK with, but it started to get to the point where it was constant and DD literally wasn't even checking in between stops, or angling for the next thing constantly.

So last week Larla was on vacation and when returned, texted DD while we were having a family dinner and told her to go out to our trampoline because -- surprise!, Larla showed up at our house uninvited.  Apparently had been lingering outside for 10-15 minutes. But DD didn't tell us, instead starting angling to go "meet" Larla at a playground somewhere. Like, immediately. No, we told her -- we're having dinner. Maybe later. we said -- we're having dinner now. Which prompted pouting and agitation and finally an admission that Larla was outside. So, we sent her home.

This morning, they were both at a sleepover for another child. DD comes home and asks if she can go to Larla's before another sleepover there tonight (back to back birthdays). I said, sure, I can take you over in an hour but I have this work conference call first, and you have to do chores X, Y, and Z before you go anyway, so take that time to do these things. I hear her phone beep and two minutes later she comes in and asks if the teenage sister can come pick her up and take her over to Larla's house. I was beyond exasperated -- she got a "yes" and was still angling for what she wanted quickly.

What am I missing here? I'm trying to be laid back, but I really feel like this has become a constant thing and I'm beginning to be concerned it's going to be the "summer of Larla." I hate that my opinion of this child is so negative, but she doesn't seem to have much supervision or maybe her parents are more "free range" than I am. But the encouraging DD to lie thing really bugged me and set a bad tone.[/quote]

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