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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Did creating a master list of chores and divvying them up help your marriage?"
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[quote=Anonymous]No. I've done this in various ways many times. It hasn't hurt us either, but it wasn't effective. Not as much a master list, as a variety of attempts to lay out a structure or goals or a basic checklist. Dh just isn't a planner. He would never do a list like I've done in his own. Never ever. In a discussion about this with my therapist, she explained in a positive way that 'I do what I want to do, and he does what he wants to do.' If he doesn't like going by a checklist or other plan, it's not my place to set this up. So now I just ask him. He always follows through. And I know it goes against the concerns of default parenting-household-maintaining, BUT I recognize that he is the default on a bunch of things that I don't have to remember. Even after this, I still make mini attempts to help structure our life. Instead of asking for him to join in every aspect if that list, I ask him to know and recognize that I do it, and to support me. [/quote]
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