Reply to Would like to hear from parents of older teens who were caught with marijuana

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]You are over-reacting.[/b] A lot of very successful people smoke pot. Your son will soon graduate and be out of your influence. You can't actually punish him into not using pot and your disproportionate freak-out will only make it less likely he will talk to you about it and respect your views. If you are feeling this upset and drastic about it I suggest you see a family therapist to work it out. [/quote]   OP here. Actually I am not.  It's not about the pot per se for me, I supported the legalization of pot and have no problem with anyone that chooses to partake .  I am not anti-pot.  My kid knows all of this.    It's mostly that this is illegal until 21 and that after all the discussions the first time we dealt with this that my kid would be so dumb to get caught a second time.  Partaking in illegal activities can screw your future prospects. Sure, it might not, it certainly didn't when I was a kid and did it, but I was also smart enough to be very discreet and careful.  I can't just sit back and say "oh well, a 17 year old is gonna do what a 17 year old does."    Sure, he will be 18 soon but he cannot legally partake until he is 21.  It's still my job to enforce this and not just sit by and ignore/tolerate this.

As I've said numerous times, I am not interested in punishing, I am interesting in consequences. My kid is a minor that lives under my roof and is still a high school student. Perhaps people feel there aren't any really and maybe that's true.  But I think when trust is broken and a lack of common sense is shown, well I think there has to be some sort of effect.[/quote]

When I got caught smoking pot when I was 19, my mom said in no uncertain terms "I've lost a lot of trust in you" and "you're setting a bad example for your sisters" and "if you ever get caught by someone else you might ruin your chances of being a judge or whatever future job you want."  That was enough punishment for me. [/quote]

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