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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Outgrowing marriage"
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[quote=Anonymous]This sh*t make me furious because I was a child of divorce. You knew who he was when you stood at the alter in front of your friends and family, and promised for better or for worse. You knew who he was when you had kids. You CHOSE to have children with him (I'm asssuming, if you have more than one). . As far as I can tell from the OP he hasn't changed, he isn't addicted, he isn't abusive, he's a nice guy. He's the guy you said you would be with till death do you part. Get counseling-- alone or separate and get your act together. You owe it to your kids to be a grownup and make it work. Once you have kids, it's about them first, not some notion you have of self fulfillment. Making your kids spend the rest of their lives living 1/2 time in each house and having no firm base and no permanent home, dividing Christmas, only spending half their birthdays with you is terrible. And someday, your kids will have kids-- and they will still spend only 1/2 the time with you they could. And I have zero respect for people who make the decision to put kids through this because they "outgrew" their spouse. Get a sitter, find something in common (a concert series, a class, nice dinners) and spend time together. Fix your marriage, rather than deciding their are better fish in the sea. If you are a woman with multiple kids, there aren't, and single, 1/2 parenthood while paying to maintain 2 households is just not glamorous. Also-- learned helplessness happens in a marriage where one partner is a control freak. Look in the mirror. I do but this is 100% your DH. [/quote]
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