Reply to 6yo - is it just my kid? "Don't speak to your mother that way" (tone and the way things are said)

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Reply to "6yo - is it just my kid? "Don't speak to your mother that way" (tone and the way things are said)"

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[quote=Anonymous]We live a few hours away from the majority of our family and friends so when they come to visit, it's a special occasion or treat. DD has always been quite outspoken but has been regarded as kind and helpful by teachers. However when family comes to visit, they are often saying "don't speak to your mother that way" or "don't say that" when she responds "What" to being called or "don't touch me" when I am detangling her hair.  To be honest I feel like I say the same things atleast once a day to her about her tone. I am a very shy and sensitive person and she's quite the opposite she says what's on her mind with little to no filter. So I need to get othernopinions on if tone is as big of a deal as to be corrected.

Example of how she may be correct but it's how she words it: I mentioned that we needed to get Father's Day gifts for her grandfathers. She replied "why? they aren't my fathers" but it was more tone than what she said because, well it's true that they aren't. How do you strike the balance between having a child be independent and strong willed but also add in some compassion to tone or to how people are spoken to?

Would you correct a child because their words are harsh or tone is harsh if what they are saying is true (but just might not need to be said)? How do you do so at this point?

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