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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - no, it arises more in unfamiliar situations or free time. Say we are running errands and I say, first strabucks then grocery store or climb gym he will flip out about the order. Or if I say, okay, we are going to room 602! He will scream no, I want to go to 604 and have a tantrum. About that. It is so hard to be patient about it. He is 5, btw. Just obstinate for the sake of obstinate. I am sure there is some anxiety but it really feels like a huge need for control.[/quote]

I suggest reading about collaborative problem solving. That would give you tools to enlist him in making decisions. Maybe you can let him decide the order of errands.

For the room number thing, is he just choosing a different room to be different from you or because he's been to each of those rooms before and knows what he prefers?

No one is obstinate just for the sake of being unpleasant. There's a reason behind his actions -- anxiety and need for control are two you've identified. See what you can do to meet those needs.[/quote]

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