Reply to Partner's mom choosing time with ex-DIL she doesn't like over me

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[quote=Anonymous]Partner and I are both divorced and in our 40s, we each have kids.  Been together for several years and maintain different households in 2 cities for work/logistical reasons (to keep the kids in their own school districts).  His ex-wife is not held in high esteem by his family, though they treat her respectfully and even generously.  She has mental illness, has not been a present mother (does not have custody).  Partner's mom has a heart of gold and also wants to keep things positive for the kids (in their teens).  His mom treats me well and expresses gratitude for how happy her son is with me, and shows what seems like genuine affection.

But--not for the first time, she just cancelled plans on me this weekend to spend time with partner's ex-wife.  She's complaining about it (and will afterwards), as if she doesn't have a choice.  I feel really hurt that I come second.  This happened this last Christmas, too.

Partner is out of town for most of his mom's visit (she came to be with her grandkids while he's on an extended business trip).  I'm trying to bite my tongue when he asks how things are going. [/quote]

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