Reply to 20 minute tantrum advice?

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Reply to "20 minute tantrum advice?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP--my son was like this.  Tantrums were epic.  I posted on DCUM looking for advice and got a lot of what the PP Nanny provided you.  None of it was helpful.

The more I disengaged, the louder the tantrum.  If I came too close, the tantrum would escalate.  So ignoring didn't work and comforting didn't work.

For our child, we happen to discover the "cure" one random night.  DH had a presentation in the morning and had to be prepared for a long day.  Lack of sleep for him was just not an option.  I carried my screaming child to the car and we drove around as if he was 6 months old.  About 5 min into the car ride, the tantrum subsided.  At 10 min, he stopped.  At 15 min, he was ready to talk to me and tell me what was bothering him.

For him, once the tantrum escalated, he didn't have the ability to self regulate and bring himself back down.  He's 7 down and still asks to go for a quiet drive when he is unable to calm himself down.

I've been there and I'm sorry you're going through this.  It's no fun for the entire family.[/quote]

Yeah I thought the nanny advice was kind of messed up too.  I feel bad for the family where she works.  It seems at odds with the conventional understanding that young kids cannot self-regulate - they lack the processing skills to manage the emotions they are feeling.  So "treating them like adults" isn't a great strategy because an adult can calm herself down, whereas a child keeps getting spun up.  [/quote]

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