Reply to when your preschooler hits

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[quote=Anonymous]My older child has occasionally hit when she gets angry but now, at 3.5, she's recently started this phase where she immediately starts swinging when she dislikes what we tell her. An example would be we've given her a warning that in 5  minutes, it will be time to put on shoes to leave for day care (you know, then the countdown at 2 min or whatever so she's aware we are getting closer to the time to go). Then its time and she says "NO!" and I say, "yes, I told you were had to leave soon and now its time to go". This also applies to other scenarios that don't involve us leaving her at day care (in case anyone will respond that its her way of saying she doesn't like being left there).  Then she hits me. If I tell her at eye level "we don't hit in our home", she just starts screaming at me. If I walk away, she will hit my toddler. If I pick up my toddler and walk away, she will follow us and still hit me.

I'm at a loss for how to respond. My husband and I would like to find something that we can do the same way every time but it seems nothing works until she cools off. In those few minutes when she is upset, she hits a handful of times. We've tried time outs where she sits separately and she won't stay where we've told her to sit. (She will if its a smaller infraction, but when she's this fired up, nothing works).

When she's cooled down, after a few minutes, she really just needs a hug and responds to that. But when she's fired up, we don't try to touch her.

Not sure if just picking up my other child and walking away and [i]ignoring[/i] her hitting is an option, but I feel like it still doesn't address the fact that she needs to understand its not ok to hit.

I'd love to know what works in your homes if your child hits.[/quote]

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