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[quote=Anonymous]My mom is not perfect but she was/is a great mom and has always lived for her two kids. Now my sibling and I are grown with our own families and by random chance we both live out of town from where we grew up. I live a couple hours in one direction and sibling lives 5 hours in another direction. Sibling and I are both stable, happily married, with kids, etc. My sibling recently decided to move from a starter home to a larger home in their current city. My mom is taking it extremely hard because she has confessed that she was basically waiting on sibling to move back to our hometown and now its pretty obvious that isn't happening any time soon. (My sibling certainly has the right to live their life where they choose but I feel like my sibling encouraged this belief by my mother, or at least did nothing to correct my mother's assumption.) My mom confessed she gave up on my moving back a long time ago.

My parents are still married and live together but do not have anything resembling a marriage or a relationship. I don't understand why they are still married. My mom does not have any close friends, her parents are deceased and she is not very close to her siblings even though they live fairly close to her, so she is basically alone in life except for sibling and me. She doesn't really like her job, even though she has no plans to ever retire because a.) she can't afford to and b.) in her words "what would I do?" (this feels like a dig about sibling and I living out of town.)

She used to be a really positive upbeat person and totally adoring of me, my sibling and her grandchildren. Over the last couple of years and especially the past few months she has become extremely moody, grumpy and has started instigating arguments. I know that these are signs of depression. The problem is - what can be done when none of the issues making her depressed can I do anything about? I highly doubt she would agree to go to therapy, nor is it likely to help that much.

Both sibling and I visit and call frequently. My mom says its not the same because she/we feel like a "houseguest" instead of family.

I feel horrible for my mom. She is young (60) and pretty healthy so she probably has a lot of years left to be this unhappy. I'm the type of person that sees problems and wants to fix them but I can't do anything to change the big issues (sibling and I living out of town, dead marriage) and I can't make her do anything about the smaller issues (find some friends, "get a life" - I mean that in a nice way I swear!)

Help! I am so upset about all of this.[/quote]

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