Reply to Shared custody of an infant-coparents on good terms

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Recently had a very close family member go through this with a 5 month old. Partially due to nursing, but also partially due to personal preferences, they landed on:

- Mom has primary physical custody 
- No overnights until the child is 4 (there are other children involved too that are older)
- Dad gets minimum of 4 "contact hours" during the week
- Dad gets Sundays from Noon to 8 PM

Once the child is four, will still be 4 hours during the week, Sundays 12 - 8, but also every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night.

I thought that was pretty far on the extreme end, but the courts agreed to it. The parents live very close together and travel time is not an issue. [/quote]

Whoa! That is really extreme as far as the father not having much time. One of the things I'm concerned about with our schedule is baby not having enough time with the father. Baby will have spent the first three months establishing a bond with both of us and I want to make sure that continues. Our work schedules make things a little difficult because I work 9-5 but he works an evening/late night schedule and we'll also be living about an hour apart. I'm considering also floating the idea of having him come over for a visit at my place one other weekday afternoon as well. [/quote]

Different poster, but I said up thread that your 2 nights sound fine.

With my child (who was 10mo at separation) we did every other weekend for dad - so that we both got weekend time - and then one night per week overnight with dad. The one night overnight ended up being on Thursdays, because it gave dad the same amount of time, but didn't add more transitions for the child, which were hard. Initially it was going to be Wednesday nights with dad, but then every other week the poor kid was going back firing every night or 2, Thursday nights solved that problem, then baby and dad got 3 day weekends, and it worked nicely.

This schedule may not have started until the child was 18 months, but it was a fantastic schedule that worked very well (I wish we could go back to it, but now we live far apart so it doesn't work). [/quote]

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