Reply to 'Thank God!' for a healthy baby. Please explain.

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Reply to "'Thank God!' for a healthy baby. Please explain."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please help me process this, I don't know where else to ask. In Dec my 10 month old son died after a brutal battle with a heart defect. He never left the ICU in all of that time. My husband and I went to great lengths to get pregnant after many fail attempts and finally got pregnant with twins after IVF abroad.

I am now pregnant naturally with a miracle due exactly 9 months from his funeral. Obviously we are still in shock and disbelief with a host of complex emotions and feelings. I had a fetal echo to check out the heart this week and it came back normal and healthy. So I posted that much on Facebook. Everyone was incredibly supportive about it. I also had some "Praise God" and "Thanks be to God" on my post. I don't get it. These are people that prayed fervently for my son to be healed. Why would I thank god for creating this healthy heart when he gave my son a defective one? I'm so irritated by this and I've been thinking about it all day. On one hand I almost see it as a pat saying like "awesome" or "yay". I just don't understand this thought process. Help me understand and I mean that in a genuinely curious way. [/quote]

I'm really, really sorry, OP.  :(

This is horrible.  It's horrible to everyone.   So they are processing this situation they best way they know how to.  The way it feels best to them to deal with something as tragic as losing a baby.   It's how they see the universe, and I guess they assume everyone does.

I had a friend who lost her child to a cold sore infection 11 days after she was born.   My friend had never had a cold sore, and was infected just after she had given birth.  Therefore, her baby had no immunity at all, and she died.  It's just so horrible to contemplate, and I'm sure I said something stupid at some point, even though my intentions were good.

If possible, just know that these folks mean the best for you, even if they aren't saying it right.   And if you don't think certain people do, it's probably best to stay away from them a bit.  Protect yourself emotionally for sure.

What we "all" should say, is "we're here for you if you want us."  And we should just listen.  Let you lead..... [/quote]

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