Reply to 2nd grader being excluded from birthday parties

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a 2nd grader who is very social and is always playing with other kids when I pick him up from aftercare, regularly plays sports with other kids at recess, and gets along well with just about everybody. But I noticed lately that he doesn't get invited to birthday parties. I know of three boys from his class who are also on his soccer team who had birthday parties  this year and didn't invite him (for two of the parties the moms posted pictures on FB, for the third party another mom asked me if my kid was going to so-and-so's party b/c she wanted to carpool, but my son hadn't been invited). There are two other kids he's friends with from soccer and from his aftercare who also had parties and didn't invite him (both of them had invited him in the past). Today he said one of his friends said he'd invite him to his birthday party coming up if another kid couldn't make it and a spot opened up, and another kid, who is one of his best friends, told him he was trying to decide between inviting my son or another boy to his sleepover party.

My son mostly doesn't seem bothered by this, though he was sad about his close friend not knowing if he'll invite him to his sleepover (I'm not sure he knows about all of these other parties), but it bothers me that he's being excluded. I know I need to get over it, but I also want to understand why these other boys aren't inviting him. We used to have bigger, invite-the-whole-class birthday parties in preschool and in K, but the last two years we only invited 2-3 friends, one year for a sleepover and one year to go to a sporting event. I don't know if other parents think he's having parties and not inviting their kids, or if the kids are saying they don't want to invite him or what. I've never had concerns about him socially, but maybe I should?

Anyone else have this experience? Any thoughts about what might be going on? Am I overthinking it? Looking for a problem that doesn't exist? Please talk some sense into me! [/quote]

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