Reply to For boys - when puberty hits, does maturity come with it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I am rather relieved that my 12 year old son takes after both my husband and I, and shows no signs of puberty, apart from a few leg hairs and an increasing need for deodorant, and still has a charming willingness to play pretend with his much younger sister and anyone else.

Decades ago, when some children were working and others living a life of ease, it was considered normal for upper-class children to continue to play like this until well into their teens.

A word of warning, though: the homework procrastination and need to be micromanaged smacks of inattentive ADHD. Inattentive ADHD often correlates to a seeming lack of maturity.

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I don't mind the playing with the siblings bit at all! It's just unusual that he still has interest in that, I think. He does have ADHD. It's medicated, we help him a lot of organizational strategies and work with him on it quite a bit. However, none of this seems to help create an underlying motivation and desire to do well and try hard. I hoped that would come a little bit more with some maturity. He operates very much on the "get through the next five minutes" theory of life. I know all this goes hand in hand with ADHD. But good lord it would all be easier if he cared about any of it. I'm not sure how much longer his father and I can baby step him through every.single.class and every.single.assignment.[/quote]

I'm PP you responded to. 
Does he want to do well in class and does he understand that this requires daily work, finishing assignments on time and getting good grades? Does he find school moderately interesting and is he motivated by his teachers? If he does, then the problem is executive functioning-related, and he needs coaching on how to organize himself and perhaps a tweak in his meds (they might not be sufficient to cover homework time).
My son for a long time could not act on his desire to do well, since his severe ADHD got in the way. Now he's medicated, he's a homework machine (still needs lots of help with long-term projects). Ever since he was small, there's been a routine in place: go home, snack, do homework, play (if time). [/quote]

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