Reply to Teenage Brother Yet to Call or Acknowledge My 4 mo Baby's Birth

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a 17 yo brother. He lives with the rest of my family in Massachusetts (where I grew up). I had a baby about four months ago. My mom and sister (9 yo) drove down for the birth, but my brother needed to go to class - I was of course supportive of that. However, he never called. Never texted. Never messaged. Nothing. I texted him a picture of my son a couple of weeks after he was born, hoping to goad him into a conversation, and he replied with an "aw". THAT'S IT.

Some background - our father (long out of picture) was (is? who knows) a drug addict, is abusive, and because he was never around or lucid I essentially raised my brother for a good chunk of his youth while my mother worked multiple jobs. I eventually put myself through college, traveled pretty extensively, and now in my late twenties have a great career, loving partner, and new baby. One of my biggest motivators getting to where I am today was the hope that I could open up some doors for my siblings and make it easier for them than it was for me. But - my brother rejects the idea of college, insisted on going to a technical high school for a landscaping program, and doesn't feel the need to take the SATs or challenge himself academically in any way. He considers himself a "country boy" (even though he lives in Massachusetts  :roll: ). I'll admit that all of these things have led to a strained relationship for the past few years. Whenever I see him or talk to him, I try to encourage him to focus more on school and dream bigger (i.e. get the hell out of our hometown), mainly because I know that no one else does that for him; no matter how subtle I am, though, he takes it as a lecture and shuts down. So we don't talk as much anymore. In fact, ever since he came out (which I was thrilled about) and has been with his current boyfriend (who I am not thrilled about), he has been pretty much ignoring everyone.

I get that a lot of this is him being an angsty teenager. I really do. But my son? His first nephew? I mean, the fact that my brother can't pick up the phone to so much as acknowledge my son's existence REALLY F*CKING HURTS. So does the fact that my mother brushes it off and gives him a pass, claiming that she thinks he's too embarrassed now by the time that has passed to talk to me.

Am I being petty by not taking the high road and breaking the ice on this conversation with my brother? I'm just still so angry with him right now that I can't imagine the conversation going well.[/quote]

You sound super pushy and need to evaluate your boundaries with him.  Perhaps respect him for his decisions instead of pushing your own ideas of what is best for him.  The boyfriend thing too.  Really?  Back off and stop forcing your opinions on him.  I think it is weird and rude that he couldn't say congrats to you for the birth of your child, but maybe it's a sign that things between you guys are more strained than you think.  [/quote]

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