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[quote=Anonymous]My DH and I are about to become parents.  Growing up, my father was physically and verbally abusive to my brother and I.  My father literally beat us (lost my first tooth being slapped in the face, father would punch my brother in the face to wake him up, grab brother by his arm, swing him and beat him, etc.  Brother was beaten worse than me).  Father was also an alcoholic. Mother was a-la Dottie Sandusky (without the sexual abuse) - stand by her man, the abuse did not occur.  Family members witnessed abuse but did nothing.  Grandparents (even paternal grandparents) now claim father was a "jerk" and that he was too physical with us.  According to grandparents, abuse started as young as age 1 to me.

I broke the cycle and married a wonderful man.  I have no concerns about my husband's behavior toward our future child.

After 30+ years, father has tried to make amends via trying to be helpful.  He rarely drinks.  I hope that his physical abusive ways are over, but I am am hesitant about leaving our future child in his care (even if my mother is present).

DH and I plan on having a talk with father about expected behavior.

Has anyone had such talks with a family member?  Has anyone witnessed a change in behavior?[/quote]

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