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Reply to "Feeling guilty about not helping faraway aging parents"
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[quote=Anonymous]My separated parents, who were very career-focused and did a bare-minimum job of raising my sister and me, live in the Middle East. They are now simultaneously aging fast and -- due unhealthy habits and lack of planning, deteriorating quickly and chaotically. My sister, who has always lived with my mom and who relies on my mom for almost all her financial and emotional needs, takes care of my mom by herself. (My sister refuses to get outside help because she doesn't like people in the house though my mom would love professional help.). My dad has ended up in the care of his aging sister who has made it clear she can't take him any longer. Although I believe their predicaments are partly their own fault and the result of fatalistic Arab culture, I feel bad that I am not with them to share the drama since I am in the US, ostensibly living a perfect life. I feel morally obligated to be more involved but the truth is I was never very close to my sister or father, and I try to help my mom as much as I can from afar. (She stayed with me for a few weeks last year for physiotherapy and I am with her in the Middle East right now to support her post-surgery). But I have two kids to focus on at home and both my husband and I work full-time in demanding jobs that barely cover our bills. So realistically I can't do much more without importing Middle-East style drama into our own lives. So... I guess I am looking for some moral guidance here. What do YOU think someone in my position should do/think/say?[/quote]
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