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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband is being a bit of a jerk, or at least insensitive, for not recognizing that you need some down time away from his mom and making sure that you get it.  Even letting you go to another room of the house *undisturbed* would be helpful.

You shouldn't have to be "On" all the time.[/quote]

DH agrees in theory but when the time comes and she's here he acts like we haven't discussed it prior to the visit. He says it's only a few times a year and I should just suck it up. He says he has to spend time with my parents far more often (they're local) but to me it's not the same because it's a few hours at a time and we can leave anytime to go to our own home and when MIL visits there's never a break or if I take one I'm considered rude.

There's also the issue with DH communicating with me when she's here. He just assumes we're on the same page. She came in to town yesterday and I worked all day and he called and asked me where I was because he thought I would have been home by then (think work hours end at 5:00 and he called at 5:15). He was annoyed because they were waiting for me to go pick DS up at school and I was holding MIL up from being able to see DS. WTF? Why do they need me to be there?

Same thing with this morning. I had to get to work and DH was staying home with MIL and so they took DS to school but he wanted me to wait to leave until after they got home because he had scheduled a contractor to come. But he didn't tell me that until this morning so I got upset because I was going to be late but it just made me look bad in front of MIL, like an example of how I overreact.

-OP[/quote]

I know this sounds crazy, but get it in writing. The next time she's scheduled to come, agree to your general schedule at least a week before she gets there. Then, e-mail that schedule to your husband, saying, "I just wanted to be sure this is what we agreed to, right? I'll be with you the whole time, except my hair appointment at 2 on Saturday and grocery shopping by myself after dinner on Sunday." That way, if it comes up and he gets worked up about your hair appointment, you point to the e-mail.

Announce, don't ask, that you are building time to yourself in every visit. "I'm taking this time to recharge my batteries. I have no problem with you creating similar alone time for yourself while my parents are here next month."[/quote]

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