Reply to Separated and not yet ex DH is bringing girlfriend to kids events--can this be stopped?

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Reply to "Separated and not yet ex DH is bringing girlfriend to kids events--can this be stopped?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I was in a similar situation.  The truth is cheaters create fake fronts for themselves to look like good people while they engage in their predatory behavior.  When you were married, you were your Ex's false front that made him look like a good guy.  Now that your marriage is over, your ex is using the kids to create his fake image.  He holds them out to girlfriends and orhers so that he can be seen as a good dad.  If he brings a woman to an kids' event, in his mind he wins.  He is a good dad showing up to see his kids who is loved by another woman, if not you.

It's messed up, but hard to change.  I sent my ex an email saying that experts say neither of us should introduce the kids to dates unless it was a serious relationship that passed the one year mark.  I xeroxed some pages from the Sandcastles divorce book and highlighted the relevant passages and attached it to the email.

It worked, although he them didn't really think at all about how to introduce his fiance at the one year mark - which was a different sort of problem.

As you divorce you can negotiate a no paramours overnight with the kids clause, but it's basically unenforceable.

Try to take the high road.  Model the behavior you would like to see your kids enjoy and your husband mimic.

Kids are smart.  Mine were very young at the divorce.  But after 10 years they see their Dad for what he is - sort of an irresponaible loser that they still have feelings for.  [/quote]

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