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Reply to "Parents together unhappily or divorced - which is harder for kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids don't care if you're happy. Overcoming unhappiness and still providing a safe and secure base for kids is the ultimate in character.[/quote]

Characterizing staying in an abusive marriage as "overcoming unhappiness" is a really messed up view of life.

I grew up in an intact family with one verbally abusive parent.  It scarred me in ways that affected me for decades.  I was engaged for a long time to a verbally, emotionally and, finally, physically abusive partner.  Thank god I had enough self esteem not to take the final step and marry him.  I had a second relationship with a man who was nice to me (and everyone) on the surface, but who cheated repeatedly with anyone he could find, while at the same time begging me to stay and lying to me.  This was a serious emotional abuse and basically gave me PTSD.

I ended the last abusive relationship when our 2 children were in nursery school.  I have full custody and am proud to say I have broken the cycle of intergenerational abuse.

Moral of the story:  married is not necessarily better.  An "intact" home is not necessarily healthier for kids.[/quote]

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