Reply to If you married the wrong person what does it say about you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I notice most divorced people I know married too young.  They married before they had fully developed as adults and barely understood who they were as people- let alone understood who they wanted to be with.

I know many of my own marital struggles stem from this. We have been able to work through them, but there is so much I did not know or realize about myself or my partner when we got married.  I am happy with my life, and I love my spouse, but I often think I would pick a completely different person to spend my life with if I were to pick someone today.[/quote]

On the last sentence, why?[/quote]

I met DH when I was 19.  I loved that college took me away from my small town and exposed me to so much more.  I loved that my future DH was from a completely different area of the country.  At the time, he was a conservative leaning independent (I grew up in a very republican world). We were both considerate of our different religious upbringings- protestant and catholic- and thought it would be fine to raise our kids in both faiths. I knew I wanted to be a SAH mom but wanted to work a few years before having kids.  DH supported this idea and wanted to work in nonprofits a few years before focusing on a more lucrative career path. He moved to a city after college and I followed him there.  We got married a couple years out of college.

15+ years later, I know in my heart of hearts I would be much happier living in a small town- but DH loves the city and wont leave.  I did not get to be a SAH mom because DH realized that he did not like the actual stress of being a sole provider. (I don't mind working.. and in no way want to get into a debate about this subject... but I was really upset that DH changed his mind about our original plan) DH never left the nonprofit world.. and became extremely liberal- to the point where he considers running for elected office. (Note.. I no longer consider myself a republican.. but I am now a more conservative leaning independent- we disagree politically on most points.. though not all) Also, turns out that DH thought I would eventually convert and only wants our children raised Catholic.

Needless to say, had I not married DH when I did I would have probably moved back to the area I am from, met someone closer to the background I was raised in, and led a perfectly normal life for that area. I don't think I was ever "rebellious" per se, but I essentially met and married DH during the time where I was experimenting with how life could be different from what I knew as a child.  Turns out, I really want what I had growing up.

I know the grass always seems greener.. so I focus on all the wonderful parts of the life we have together.  But, I definitely feel like I have made many sacrifices for this life that I would not have had to make in an alternative scenario.[/quote]

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