Reply to Can a marriage counselor actually help with disagreements over discretionary spending?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband seems to think he is "the decider" (thanks George Bush) when it comes to major expenses. Basically, if he says no, I can argue until I'm hous in the face but short of just doing it against his express wishes, it is a nonstarter.

He makes high income and I SAH for now with small children. We have no debt aside from a reasonable mortgage (our house is worth 3x my husband's annual salary.) We have a lot saved for college and retirement and also emergency funds. But somewhere along the way my husband appointed himself the one who decides if something is worth buying or not. He decides we should travel somewhere, great! HE decides I need a new car, great! But if I say, actually my car is fine could we remodel an old bathroom instead, NO WAY! Because he doesn't agree that is worthy.

I could go on and on, but is this something a counselor could help us work through? Obviously I could go back to work and pay for things with "my" money, but honestly I don't really see him suddenly being ok with these expenditures just because I brought in some of the money. Not to mention that we don't need additional money, by any stretch.[/quote]

Do you do the same when is come to parenting? Have you appointed yourself the person who makes decision about parenting and about what the kids can or can't do or should or shouldn't do?

Either he is just a controlling person, or this is a you make all the decisions bout the kids so I make all the decision about the money dynamic where both people ant to control the part they feel the most ownership of. Then it becomes an I stay home so I decide parenting things and I make the money so I decide budget things.[/quote]

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