Reply to I read on here that a parent's marriage often shapes those of their children

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Reply to "I read on here that a parent's marriage often shapes those of their children"

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[quote=Anonymous]It is absolutely true in the sense that the children will either learn lessons from the parents' marriage or repeat the parents' mistakes.

My parents had a terrible marriage. My father was extremely physically, verbally and financially abusive to my mother and to us. My mother was verbally and physically abusive to us kids. It was all just a terribly unhappy train wreck.

My brother has sworn off marriage all together, and that is a good thing. He is a terrible boyfriend. Unfaithful and sometimes, I suspect he is physically abusive too. He is just like my father in that he is predatory and chooses women whose low earning potential and low education mean they cannot easily leave him.

My younger sister (28) has very low self-esteem and relationships. She chases men and is constantly trying to wine and dine them to keep them. In many ways, she acts like the man in the relationship and her relationships are often very uneven. Her boyfriends typically seem indifferent to her, while she seems very into them. She reminds me of my mother in that way.

My other sister is only 20, so her relationships have yet to really be seen. I do worry about her a bit though.

I used to be volatile with commitment issues until I went to therapy. I cheated and was verbally abusive and often deliberately kept my boyfriends on eggshells regarding whether I would stay or go. Now, I am in a very loving marriage and have mostly unlearned the negative impact of my parents. It took cutting my parents off and keeping the rest of my family at arm's length to finally find enough mental peace to be in a healthy relationship. [/quote]

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