Reply to D17: "I can't stand any of you and can't wait to get out of this house"

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Reply to "D17: "I can't stand any of you and can't wait to get out of this house""

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[quote=Anonymous]She sounds like a 17 year old girl. Okay-- maybe more a 14 year old girl. But a kid pushing boundaries. And since she sounds like she's 14, I find it hard to believe this is new.  And with a 14 year old, you remind yourself that drama is par for the course, and boundary testing is part of the age, and try to stay calm, and tell them you get that they are frustrated, but they still need to be respectful, etc. rinse, repeat. But since this is still happening at 17, either doing this hasn't worked, or you haven't done it.

As for college, I agree with PPs. College is still important, even if the behavior is bratty, and I wouldn't make it contingent on her sucking up to you. Because she sounds just mature enough to say F--k you, I don't want to go anyway. If she has the grades and emotional maturity to make it work, you are on the wrong track.

And I love the idea of a gap year. Especially in this area, where kids are being pushed so hard in schools.  It can be a real time to grow and mature, and maybe work in a field where they are interested and save some money and travel some, or volunteer, or any number of productive things. But a gap year should be a positive experience that the kid designs to meet their interests and needs.  I really hope my brilliant but ADHD TJ student DS does one to take a break from 24/7 studying and give his executive functioning skills some extra time to mature and get some independent living skills.  But, a gap year as a punishment is a bad idea. You do realize you would end up with a sulky kid living in your basement and refusing to get out of her PJs right?

And I don't get the new car for teens thing either. If they have a new car, and the newest iPhone, and a designer wardrobe that many DCUM women would kill for, and whatever else you are spoiling her with, of course the act entitled. They are. By you. [/quote]

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