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[quote=Anonymous]Cause of divorce: he was more interested in / committed to his work than he was to our marriage and after a few pretty egregious demonstrations of that, I left him.

Married five years. Together for five prior to marriage.

Yes. Ex has always had a tendency to to become immersed in a new project or adventure. For the first couple years of our relationship, that was me. Then we got married and moved here and it became his work. He wanted to have a baby, so we did and for a while, she was the new thing. Then it went back to being work because he got a new job. Since we split another five years ago, I've seen him move to another new job and a couple new girlfriends and it's been the same pattern. I just didn't really notice it at first because I was the thing he was excited for.

He wasn't my first relationship, but he was my first very serious long term relationship. My previous longer relationships were not more than 2 years. I'd say that I had experience, but marrying someone and maintaining a connection with them through life's ups and downs is different.

My advice to you would be to pick someone you like being around, who you have a connection with and who shares your priorities in life. You can't always see someone's flaws if you haven't been with them a while. In my experience, some major character issues take a while to emerge. [/quote]

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