Reply to Overcompensating for lack of extended family relationships

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I grew up as an only child with very little extended family - and I had a very happy childhood. If you had those relationships and they were special to you I can understand feeling sad your child won't have them too, but you have to remember that your child only knows his own experience - and he won't miss something he doesn't have. Make your own fun and family traditions. Do something special together on holidays instead of feeling sad you're not spending time with a big extended family - see a show or a movie, have a special thing you cook together, go for a hike, etc. [/quote]

OP here.  As an only, I had an okay childhood, but definitely felt I missed out on extended family connections.  I have to disagree with the idea that "he won't miss something he doesn't have."  I grew up as an only with no local family, and really missed having that sense of a big, loving, involved extended family, even as a child.  I always knew that I was missing out on the kinds of fun family get togethers that my peers were getting to do all the time with Sunday dinners at Grandma's, holidays with cousins, etc.  As a high schooler I despised the lonely holidays we had with just my family of 3, I always felt like I was missing out.  For example on Thanksgiving we would go out for Thanksgiving brunch, just the 3 of us, and I always felt so lonely doing that.   So although yes in a way that's all I ever knew, at the same time I had the emotional intelligence, even as a child, to see what I was missing out on and grew up feeling very lonely.[/quote]

Well, we had very different experiences then. There are a million posts on DCUM from people with big families who are arguing over holidays and logistics and a million other things - a big family doesn't guarantee happy holidays.

Happiness is a choice - you can choose to be happy with the family you have or you can choose to dwell on what you don't have. [/quote]

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