Reply to Real life examples of "If you love someone set them free..." is it true?

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Reply to "Real life examples of "If you love someone set them free..." is it true?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] When I was 20 I was absolutely crazy insane over this girl, we made out a few times but she had a boyfriend and it never got further.  I tried all sorts of ridiculous things to get her but nothing worked, I soon as I put my attention elsewhere  (translation:  having sex with 12 different girls over the summer)  she started paying more and more attention to me.  Every time I would return her affection she would sort of run the other way, eventually I threw up my hands and decided to move to DC. 
 When she found out she came to visit me,  she stayed at my place and nothing happened but we had a really good time together.  When she went back to New York on Monday she broke up with her boyfriend, she came back down the following Friday.  That weekend we were finally together and she never left again; that was 24 years, three kids and two houses ago. 
 I read somewhere that affection flows in the direction of the unwilling,  if you cool your jets he or she may come around or they may not, but the key is to be OK with it either way. [/quote]

[b]if you cool your jets he or she may come around or they may not, but the key is to be OK with it either way. [/b]

this right here[/quote]

To me this whole quote was much more about acceptance as the dumpee in a breakup - not that you are supposed to dump someone you love, but rather, that you should accept them leaving - that your acceptance (going away nicely, not being a stalker, etc.) is your gift out of love for them: letting them go pretty easily despite your own deep pain/hurt.

This is what "Cool your Jets" is all about. There is - as a PP mentioned - a kind of law of attraction that has to do with a distancer/pursuer dyamic.  Constantly being the pursuer - despite rejection - is a sign of low self-esteem or self-respect.  High self-esteem, aka "confidence" is attractive; low self-esteem is not.  This is the dynamic the MRA/red-pillers try to get at with "negging" or ignoring women they are attracted to.

In the case of being dumped, having some dignity about it is a sign of self-respect/esteem, and so if you "set them free" they might actually come back. If you don't - not only will you be embarrassed later when you get over the hurt, but you'll pretty much confirm for them that they made the right choice in dumping you.  [/quote]

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