Reply to What to do when it feels like your life is crashing and burning?

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Reply to "What to do when it feels like your life is crashing and burning?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I see and hear a few different things in your thread.

1) you've gone through a lot for a long period of time and you sound like your "tank" is getting low. You need to think about what kinds of things energize you (as a couple). Is it positive dreams and visioning together? Is it the happy moments of being a family? Is it happy times together as adults (date nights)? Is it physical exercise (celebrating good health)? You need to start filling your tank. For some couples, therapy fills their tank (helps them understand each other better, helps them reduce stress and regain love and connection), but you don't sound to me like one of those couples. Could you take that money and invest it to refuel your tank?

2) you sound isolated as a couple. Is it possible you're embarrassed to discuss why the business is having trouble? I think you want to think about safe ways to break open. I like the idea of meetups for new business owners. SBA has some stuff. But Is it possible the bigger thing is that you were hurt by the withdrawal of friends when you got sick? if it's about what happened with your health, I'd reach back out to one or two of these friends. Ask if they want to reconnect with you over coffee. There's a book by Sheryl Sandburg that I want to read: Option B about how people treated her after he husband died and how everyone stopped talking to her. The book provides advice about how to help us get over the paralysis and silence that drops social situations when bad things happen.

3) when I went through the worst period of my life (trying to separate from my XH, taking care of a sick dad, trying to save money so we could move out of an angry home), I started a gratitude journal. It's hard to keep track of the good, but happiness is not something "out there" it's something that has to be cultivated inside us.[/quote]

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