Reply to Do narcissists ever know they are narcissists? Can they change?

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[quote=Anonymous]I've been having a lot of conflict with my husband over the last few years- his personality completely changed since we had children- he has become distant, often angry, and doesn't respond when I tell him what I need emotionally (he also won't tell me what he needs), and he just doesn't treat me lovingly. I started counseling for PPD two years ago and realized a lot of my mood wasn't PPD but was more related to how he was treating me...little things here and there that I brushed off or mentally justified ("he is a stressed out parent", or "the baby was up last night and DH is overtired".) I ended that round of counseling with intentions (seemingly mine only) that we'd work through things. They ebbed and flowed and then our conflict started to grow again. I started to feel like we were roommates in the same house. I randomly came across and article on NPD and felt like most of the characteristics fit my husband.

He has been unwilling to go to counseling for the last two years, furthering the rift between us. I started counseling again to talk about what next (separation?) and when I described our situation (much more than I'm describing here), over several sessions, the counselor without my prompting said he sounded like a narcissist. I wrote him a long letter about my frustrations since we can't seem to have a civil discussion about needs, and he finally agreed to counseling. He has started his own counseling and we are working on getting booked for couples sessions. However, right now I'm feeling so overwhelmed at what we'd have to get past and wondering, if he, is in fact somewhere along the spectrum (for lack of a better word) of NPD, how does that get discussed? Narcissists are prone to deflect and take personally anything they perceive as attacks on themselves so how to even make him aware of it.

Just looking for support or insight from anyone who has gone through anything similar.

Thank you in advance.[/quote]

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