Reply to When is it NOT better to stay together for the kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up with a verbally abusive mom.  It has had a negative impact on me that reverberated broughout my life in many ways.  As a result, my 2 main long term partnerships were both also verbally, emotionally and/or physically abusive.

When my ex cheated on me, I knew I had to get out with the kids.  The fact that I gave them an emotionally safe and connected home has enabled them to develop into terrific kids, even though their dad, whom they see often, has a lot of problems.  And, even though we are pretty financially limited.

Take your time to establish yourself with a job history.  Wait if you must to file when you are back in the States.  But make a long term plan to get out.  You may not be able to support your kids at the same level as with 2 incomes, but [b]an emotionally safe 2 br apartment is much better than an emotionally abusive 2 parent colonial. [/b]

Also, read up on emotional abuse.  I didn't recognize it at the time, but the emotionally abusive adult relationships did tremendous damage to me.  I thought once I recognized the abuse, that alone would be enough to prevent the damage, but emotional abuse has subtle but crippling effects and the patterns of changed behavior and thinking are difficult to undo on your own.[/quote]

Went from 2000 sq ft to 200 in a hotel initially. Built and emotional support network for you during this long journey too. It will be tough at times and you need a healthy place to discuss the rollercoaster of emotions.[/quote]

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