Reply to Girlfriend laid off five weeks ago

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She is embarrassed and depressed about it and you "helping" her and pressuring her is going to have the opposite effect of making her feel stressed and miserable and resistant to your suggestions.  Try leaving her completely alone to process her feelings for a month, and then see where she is.[/quote]

I haven't really been pressuring her except sending her links.

We don't live together so shortly she won't be able to pay her bills. That would be a crisis, no?[/quote]

If you don't live with her how do you know she is spending much of her day on Facebook?  How do you know how much effort she is putting in?

When it reaches a crisis level and she comes to you, then it will be the time to have a (CALM) discussion about this.

I was like your girlfriend at one point, and criticism or sending me links to jobs did not motivate me.  It made me feel like my husband thought I was a loser who could not figure things out.  Plus I was depressed.  But guess what!  I eventually found a good job, on my own, without anyone's help.  It was not as fast as anyone would have liked.  But losing a job has a grief process like anything else and you have to let her figure things out.[/quote]

Hi, I can see her on FB all day since I have the internet at work.

As I said before, I am not criticizing her in the least. I have said nothing and done nothing except send her links and try to cheer her up and tell her everything will be ok. But she has very little savings and if she doesn't take some sort of action soon, she won't be ok. I guess I just need to be quiet and wait for the crisis?[/quote]

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