Reply to The college arms race is harming us as parents and making our kids sick!

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "The college arms race is harming us as parents and making our kids sick! "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter has ended up with serious physical illness due to all the pressure at her school and among her peers to get into what is perceived as the "right" school.   Her college applications are done and she has chosen a university - not her first or second choice - but one with a highly ranked program in her major and significant financial aid. Despite this, she keeps doubting herself.  My wife and I have told her to stop worrying ( something I was surprised to hear my DW say, since she is IMHO an overbearing parent and only I moderate her influence on DD) and to gratefully accept what she has received.  My DD is now seeing a therapist because of all the anxiety this has created, and she is on serious medications for what could be a lifelong chronic illness caused by all the anxiety.  All this needs to stop!  We are not helping are kids by demanding they be perfect!  If having a happy, healthy daughter with a C average means having a happy, healthy daughter, I will take that over the A+ with the perfect mix of ECs and the Ivy admittance!

I am a big fan of Julie Lythcott - Haims, formerly a Dean of Admissions at Stanford, noted author of "How to Raise an Adult" and the host of the "Getting In" podcast.  The purpose of raising out kids is to raise them to be happy , successful adults, and, contrary to some popular opinions on these boards, happy and successful adults do come out other universities and colleges other than the very small number of them who reject the majority of their applicants yet which many parents seem to focus all their attention as the key to good and happy life.

[url]https://www.ted.com/talks/julie_lythcott_haims_how_to_raise_successful_kids_without_over_parenting[/url][/quote]

Very sorry to hear what your daughter is going through. I agree that the college game has gotten unhealthy but in my experience it is almost always the parents that set the tone through this process.  Sure, the schools and classmates influence how your child deals with the process but as parents if you get on the same page and set the right values and perspective at the outset your child will be far more balanced, sane and happy about the outcome.[/quote]

Agree with both of you.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics