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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Last name for future adopted kid of gay dads"
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[quote=Anonymous]I will share my mom's experience as a child adopted after her parents died when she was 11 mos old and her brother 3-4 yrs old: her adoptive parents didn't change their last name. As teenagers, she and her brother asked to legally change to their adoptive family's name to make clear their connection/commitment to the family. If it's an older child, I think it's fair to invite the child to share your name, to keep the birth name, to find some combination of both, but make clear that whatever the child decides you love the child and the child is a true part of the family. In your case it's already the situation that family members have different last names. Maybe think about calling yourselves the Smith-Jones-Thompson clan - Team SJT - something that the kid can hear as each of you being part of the unit. [/quote]
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